Apparently, the old lady who swallowed a fly is no longer in danger of dying, because that would be scary to kids.
But some classic children's books are kind of alarming. Take GOODNIGHT MOON, which Jesse can't stand.
When you think about it, there is something disturbing about the pictures. Has anyone else noticed the following odd things in the child bunny's bedroom:
a. a fireplace b. a telephone c. an expensive clock d. a bookshelf full of hardbound books of various editions
Who puts a telephone in a child's bedroom? It would just wake him up. Who gives a child a room this large? With a fireplace? With burning logs? And two clocks?
There's another clue: the "quiet old lady ... whispering hush."
What I get out of this setup is that she is the child's grandmother. And she is putting up the child bunny in a bedroom meant for adults because those adults are not there.
The parents are not there. And the child is terrified of everything. "Goodnight nobody... goodnight noises everywhere."
The child bunny isn't just visiting. The room has been turned into a child's bedroom. There are now paintings of the cow jumping over the moon and the three little bears. There's a red balloon and a doll's house (with, curiously, the lights on inside.)
I don't think the parents are coming back.
And then, of course, there's the deeply abusive relationship in Shel Silverstein's THE GIVING TREE. Fortunately, Sassy Gay Friend has some dating advice for the tree:
I'll go with Neil Gaiman's BLUEBERRY GIRL, even if the language is far beyond kids. Jesse loves it.